


Feelin' Way Too Damn Good

by aly_m_cap



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 23:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18727129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aly_m_cap/pseuds/aly_m_cap
Summary: Sam reflects on his life as you lay at his side, causing anxiety to build up in him over you being together.





	Feelin' Way Too Damn Good

Looking down towards you, my heart swelled in my chest. After a long year of on and off talking about cases with occasional flirting turning into more in depth, meaningful and emotional conversations; you were finally here. A small whimper from your slumbering form made me squeeze you slightly, trying not to wake you. I laid there, listening to your rhythmic breathing as I thought about every relationship I had while living in this world of hunting monsters.

Jessica. Sweet, Jessica. A pang of guilt shot through my stomach as I thought about her. She knew nothing of this life, nothing of what lurked in the dark and yet she still got dragged into this. Even after I got out. Life was normal. We had plans, I had plans. Law school, become a lawyer, white picket fences and kids. But that all changed. Yellow Eyes changed our plans forever. I can still remember the flood of emotions I felt as I looked up towards the ceiling, seeing her pinned to the old plaster, blood covering her white slip. I wanted to throw up, scream, cry and punch something all at the same time as I watched her become engulfed in flames. If it wasn’t for Dean, I wouldn’t have left that apartment. I would have died with her that night. But with Yellow Eyes plans for me, the sweet escape of death wouldn’t have lasted very long.

Sarah. She had baggage, just like I did. I think that’s a large part of why we connected the way we did. I thought I had gotten away from her, keeping her safe after a few dates and a kiss but Crowley had other ideas. It had been years since I had seen her, she was married had a daughter and was happy before Crowley selfishly took her life because of Dean and myself.

Madison. It was short lived, but passionate. It was the first time I was finally open to having something after Jessica. I thought I had helped her, gotten her passed being a werewolf but I hadn’t. Dean, being the big, overprotective brother he was wanted to take things over, shoot Madison like she wanted. I couldn’t have that happen though. We both cried as I walked up to her that day, pistol in hand. I wiped a tear off her cheek and gave her a soft kiss one last time before I stood back and pulled the trigger. Dean took care of her body that day since I was too overcome by guilt and heartbreak to do so. I sat in the Impala with my head in my hands for hours, playing through every scenario, trying to find other ways I could have helped her but I couldn’t find any.

Ruby. That relationship was a mess. I thought she was helping me, but in all reality she was using me for her own selfish gain. The demon blood, the lies, the demonic charisma made my blood boil after I had killed Lilith and realised I started the Apocalypse. The pure bliss I felt as Dean shoved her own blade into her, killing her, was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was short lived though as the world came crashing down around me from her lies.

Amelia. She was the first real thing I had since Jessica. We moved in together, started a life while Dean was trapped in Purgatory. I still kick myself to this day for trying not to save him and instead getting into a relationship with someone who deserved far better than myself. At the time, I was upset when she got the call that her husband was alive but later felt relief. She could have a true normal life. She wouldn’t ever be caught up in the life of monsters, she could have that white picket fence life and kids that I could never have. I still don’t know if she ever showed up to the motel room the night I left town. I’m sure if she did, I had hurt her pretty bad but it was for the best. For both of us.

There were other small flings throughout the last 15 years but I had gotten out before they were ever truly hurt, like Cara. But as I looked down towards you, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get out. I couldn’t help but feel like this was going to end like the rest, bloody and broken with only me left standing in this messed up world.

As hunters, we both knew this life never ended pretty but I just hoped that it would end for both of us at the same time.

You stirred beside me, breaking me from my thoughts as you squeezed my torso tightly. “Sam?” You yawned out sleepily.

“Yeah, Y/N?” 

You looked up towards me, sleepy doe-eyes piercing through my soul as you yawned again, “You okay?”

I nodded hastily, “Yeah.” I squeezed you tighter than before as a genuine smile crept across my face, “I’m great. Why?”

You nestled yourself against me again as you laid your head on my chest, “I don’t know. Just checking.”

We laid in bed for awhile as emotions flowed through my body. I’m pretty sure you fell asleep again as your breathing slowed slightly and I thought about the short amount of time we had spent together already. We’d been holed up in this, slightly classier than what Dean and I usually had, motel room for two days; talking, sleeping and making love with each other.

I was happier than I had ever been before, even with Jess. We both understood this life, the risks that came with it and we didn’t have to have ‘the talk’ with each other. We weren’t hiding anything from each other and the slow burn of the relationship we had started caused me to fall harder for anyone in my life than I ever had before.

That’s what scared me the most.

Something was bound to happen.

Tears pricked at my eyes, flooding my vision. I hadn’t noticed you had woken up until you wiped at a fallen tear softly. I looked towards you, pain in your eyes as tears started to form, “What’s wrong Sam?” You choked out.

I just shook my head as I cupped my hands around your face and sat up, bringing my lips down to yours hungrily. I was determined to make all the memories I could before the inevitable happened.

Our lips never left each others as I rolled us both over, laying you on your back as I settled myself between your legs. You broke from the kiss, brushing hair away that had fallen in my face, “Sam, really. What’s wrong?”

I leaned into your hand as I shook my head slightly, “The past. It’s just bubbling up and,” I paused, trying to gather myself, “I just don’t want history to repeat itself with this. Wi-with us.”

Your chocolate eyes searched mine for a moment, “It won’t.”

“You don’t know that,” I protested.

“I do.” You took a deep breath, “We both know how this life ends. As long as we’re together, it’ll end in a way we want.” You simpered, “Besides, dwelling on things that happened in the past takes away from the present.” Your thumb caressed my check softly, “Be here with me, in the now. We can figure out the future together.”

“You’re right,” I said grinning. “We can figure this out, together” I fervently kissed you as your words crept into my head, calming the turmoil that I had created.

My hands wandered down your body, memorizing every inch as my lips trailed across your chin and down the column of your throat. The soft moans that left your lips urged me further as my hands came up to your breasts, tugging at your pebbled nipples. You moaned my name so sweetly, “Saaam,” dragging it out breathlessly. It got me so hard, I could have cut glass.

My lips trailed down your chest, latching onto a pert nipple causing a keen moan to erupt from you. I rutted against the bed, trying to relieve some of the pressure that was building in my groin as I moved give your other nipple attention. Your slender fingers filed through my hair, tugging slightly as my lips continued down your torso.

Your breathing quickened, becoming strung out as I neared your mound. I looked towards your sex, glistening with arousal already beckoning for me to run a finger through it. As my finger slid through your folds, ending on your clit with small circles, you gasped.

“So wet for me already?” I growled as I easily slid a finger into your heat, rubbing your clit with my thumb.

A low, long moan broke from you “Always, for you.”

I quickened the pace of my fingers, crooking them upward towards your sweet spot. You mewled as I felt your walls begin to constrict on my fingers. “That’s it. Cum for me.”

You let out a broken, “Sa-am,” as your orgasm washed over you.

I continued my ministrations softly, letting you ride out your high before climbing back up the bed and settling myself between your thighs. Placing a rough kiss on your lips, I lined up at your entrance, “You ready, baby?” You nodded slightly with closed eyes, still catching your breath from before. I sunk into you slowly, trying not to hurt you before I started a slow and steady rhythm. Your eyes snapped open as I began to pick up my pace, snapping my hips upwards and hitting your sweet spot all over again.

Nails raking across my back, feeling your walls tighten once more I quickened my pace, causing you to moan loudly beneath me. “Fuck, Sam!”

My lips connected with yours passionately as I began to chase both of our highs. The constriction of your velvet walls around me spurred me on as I struggled to continue, wanting you to finish before me. I slid my hand between our bodies, rubbing the pad of my thumb across your clit. You cried out as I groaned out, “That’s it baby. Cum on my cock.”

You fingers wrapped around my biceps as you climaxed, triggering my own. I bent forward, kissing you softly as I rested my forehead against yours. I pulled out slowly, wincing from being oversensitive, before laying beside you to catch my breath.

You ran your hand along the sheets, finding my hand to thread your fingers through. We laid there in post-colloidal bliss before you broke the silence, “We’ll figure it out Sam.” You rolled towards me as I looked at you; your brown eyes staring at me, full of love and adoration, “But, I just know I don’t want to do this alone anymore, especially not without you.” 

Squeezing your hand I nodded in agreement, “I can’t either.” You snuggled into my side once more, as I realized that the past doesn’t determine the future. I don’t know what could happen, but living in the present and making the memories I could with you was the most important thing I could do. 

You laid your hand over my heart, feeling it beat as you softly said, “I love you Sam. No matter what.”

I smiled as I kissed the top of your head, “I love you too, Y/N. No matter what.”


End file.
